Man bites dog

In this case, he did more than bite.

This is the most surreal WTF video I have ever seen. Many thanks to Aadisht, who forwarded it to Gaurav, who in turn led me to it. This is the logical next step to the "Man bites dog" news headline.



I had seen only half a minute of the video but already had gleaned so many prized quotes..

"Kutta bhi vaheen area ka hai....har roj uske paas hee khaana khaata hai ..isliye sab log pahanchaata hai usko" :)...

"doctor ke liye treatment ke liye ...maybe I dont know if usko jaroorat hai ki naheen"..

and "uska medical ho gaya hai..." ...

later..

interviewer: oh..biwi delivery ke liye gayi thi? mere khyaal se woh miss kar raha hoga?
cop: kuch bol naheen saktein

interviewer: kuch psychic hai kya woh....
cop: naheen, accha hai woh!

:)

interviewer: pahle kabhi kiya...kabhi bhi aisa try bhi kiya ho!

interviewer: kuch film dekhi kya aise...

and there is lot more in this fascinating interview between the befuddled and curious reporter and the calm bemused cop (how does he keep a straight face!).

Also, this hindi news article about the incident is priceless. I thought nothing in the article could exceed the WTF value of the interview but the last sentence does in fact trump it!
"kutiya ki haalat par raham kartein hue tardeo thane ki police ne logon ko vishwaas dilaaya ki kutinya ko adalat mein pesh naheen kiya jaayega."
Aah... good to know! For a moment there I was afraid they were going to drag the poor already harassed dog to court and ask it to give witness. Good to know the cops are considerate and will "raham khao" on the kutta and not bring it to court. (Seriously!!? WTFness quotient shot off the scales!!!)

Also, this video of the aankon-dekha-haal from a witness, who seems to be taking great joy in narrating all the details!

I am sure there is a horrific and disgusting angle to this story but all I can find in it is much amusement and laughter. At the stupidest of things. Like the dog barking in the background 18secs into this 2nd video and more interesting questions from the interviewer: "unki position kya thee" etc etc.

Sorry for any readers who do not know Hindi. Someone should put up a translated transcript of the entire video but I cannot do it. I keep falling off the chair ROTFLing after every 10-15 seconds watching the video!

Saw this video at 2pm or so yesterday and was laughing right through it. Then at 4pm last evening, shaving, I remembered the last sentence of the Punjab Kesri article and start laughing aloud. Again, at 4am this morning, tossing and turning in bed, I remembered parts of the interview, and start laughing aloud. (Luckily my wife did not wake up and wonder what was wrong with me!)

And so it goes... the  video continues to entertain long after I first saw it. Makes me wonder if I am amongst a minority of people who find such joy and amusement in the  WTF moments of life! Life is too boring and mundane (not to mention absurd and meaningless) without this, no?

I think I know why this is so entertaining to me....is kahaani mein sex bhi hai, action bhi hai, drama bhi hai, comedy bhi hai, tragedy bhi hai, satire bhi hai, emotion bhi hai, farce bhi hai, horror bhi hai..... this, my friends, is the stuff life is made of. Who needs entertainment or Jon Stewart or The Onion when life can serve us so much mirth!

-
Humor is merely tragedy standing on its head with its pants torn. ~ Irvin S. Cobb

Doggone Good

We’ve seen all sorts of strange religious related appearances before... like people seeing the Virgin Mary in their sandwich etc.. but this one is doggone good! 

A South Florida woman frying salami was shocked to find that God had left his mark, in the form of his name.

Someone tell the poor lady, its not GoD but a DoG that left his mark!
(Ewww..you say?)

Btw, here is how it went:

Lady: Waiter, there's a dog in my sandwich!
Waiter: No, M'am! Our meat is sourced from some nefarious places but I'm pretty sure it does not come from Korea.
Lady: But see... d-o-g. That spells dog!
Waiter: No, lady. Maybe you are dyslexic (moving the pieces around)... see, you are the chosen one! Praise the lord - you've find God!
Lady: Hallelujah! Stop the press! I'm going to be famous! I'm going to be on TV! People are going to write news articles and blog posts singing my praises! Maybe someone will buy this on E-Bay and make me a rich woman!

Ok.. I'm being facetious but the travesty is that the last bit about someone buying it on E-bay may actually come true! (Remember this?)

And so it goes..and such is life!

Horse Sense

Ever feel like indulging equine dreams & going clip-clop clip-clop? Me Neither! But if you do, give yourself horse legs :)

I know.. I know.. none of the grace of the supreme horse. As the saying goes: 


It is not enough for a man to know how to ride; he must know how to fall.  ~Mexican Proverb 

And not enough for a (wo)man to know how to look like a horse, must know how to trot/gallop! :) 

--

Horse sense is the thing a horse has which keeps it from betting on people.  ~W.C. Fields

The ambitious pigs

Next they take over the world! :)

Actually its a story of pigs that escaped when their lorry broke down yards from the slaughterhouse. (Hat tip, BD for the link.)

--

“Well-being and happiness never appeared to me as an absolute aim. I am even inclined to compare such moral aims to the ambitions of a pig.” - Albert Einstein

WTF link of the day - 3/31/09

I had almost forgotten that I had started this series earlier in the month! Here's a worthy addition today!

Pimp pays hooker girlfriend in chicken nuggets

An Australian man pimped out his girlfriend to have sex with other men and then paid her in chicken nuggets.

And a second bonus, to make up for not updating this WTF series for so long (see note below):

Ohio man charged with drunken driving on bar stool

The 28 year old, Kyle Wiglie of Columbus, OH is actually quite an innovative man. He's motorized his bar stool to go up to 38mph! But he made the mistake of actually driving to the bar and back on the bar stool..and has now been arrested "for drunken driving after he crashed this motorized bar stool."

Picture © Newark, Ohio, Police Department/AP

Related news on CNN last year: Driving a tricycle - a 50 mpg engine-powered tricycle

Actually, there's a lot more. You can follow @weirdnews on twitter or read the Quirkies at Ananova.com or other offbeat news sections in various MSM outlets to read other oddball news from around the world. Since there are already such interesting compilations, I wonder if I should stop compiling these oddball links; considering that this is not my focus at this blog anyways and its likely I'll go for days and weeks again without updating this series! I'll still post interesting oddball news from time to time but no more "WTF" links for the day.

WTF Link of the day - 3/10/09

Serious WTFness comes after reading this Wired blog post and seeing the embedded video!

Let's say you're a defense-company marketing executive. And you want to make a splash at the Indian defense ministry's annual air show. Do you: (a) buy expensive gifts for New Delhi's generals; (b) treat the press to Kingfishers and samosas; (c) produce a Bollywood-esque video featuring bare-midriff girls, flower-draped missiles, and the catch phrase "dinga dinga dee?"

Unfortunately for us, Israeli arms-maker Rafael chose C. Which means we may have just found the most atrocious defense video of all time, just days into the Iron Eagles — our celebration of the awesomely bad videos of the military-industrial complex. Trust me, Slumdog Millionaire it ain't.

Every element of the promotional film is just plain wrong. The sari-clad, "Indian" dancers look all too ashkenaz and zaftig. The unshaven, hawk-nosed, leather-clad leading man appears to be a refugee from You Don't Mess With the Zohan. Then of course, there's the implication that the Indian military is somehow like a helpless woman who "need(s) to feel safe and sheltered."

But for my rupees, the worst thing about the video is the damn theme song they've concocted for the thing. To pimp its weapons, Rafael produced a sitar-heavy twist on Rick Astley's love letter to Satan, "Together Forever," complete with a new chorus: "Dinga dinga, dinga dinga, dinga dinga, dinga dinga dee." The rest of us now have to suffer for that bad, bad choice.

Unbelievable! If someone had just shown me the video, I'd have thought this came from some attempt at satire at The Onion or something!

Hat tip to Neel for link to the Wired post.

WTF link of the day - 3/5/09

Rioting can never be fun... but this one somehow made me laugh. Not laugh-my-pants-off funny but even so... :)

Riot at Nudist Swinger Party Over Clothed Tourist

Like yesterday's link, no pictures again -- though I know you wished there were! (Actually the link above does point to a gallery of "naked ambition" around the world... but sorry... this is a G-rated blog, guys!)

Impromptu Trysts

ye kissa kissi ek kiss ka....

A Tyneside woman deliberately bit off her boyfriend's tongue during a drunken birthday kiss, a court has heard. They were celebrating Mr Coghill's 45th birthday at his Newcastle bedsit in October 2008, when she grew upset because she was not pregnant.

Never know where a kiss may lead! Elsewhere,

A couple who were caught on CCTV cameras simulating sex to torment their neighbours have both been given two-year restraining orders. They were convicted of causing harassment without violence last month.

Also, if you have the above problem... i.e. you have neighbours simulating or actually indulging in sex (to torment you or for their own enjoyment), please do not throw eggs at them. Might get them more excited!

Rotten eggs? 
Scientists say the smell of rotten eggs is arousing for men and could be used to create an alternative to Viagra.

And you know what they say about people with big ears! They turn customers off!? WTF!!

A Chinese company requires job applicants to show their ears during interviews.  The Wuhan-based building materials firm says it wants to make sure their appearance won't have a negative effect on customers.

Not sure about Chinese and their ears, but someone better check out this Chinese guy's eye lids!

A Chinese man pulled a car by a rope attached only to his eyelids for more than five metres.

Sometimes a worm is exactly what it is!

A Somerset man suspected a worm virus when his computer crashed - but was shocked to learn the problem was a real wom. Mark Taylor called out an IT repairmen who found a five inch earthworm inside his laptop.

And one last note...

A US grandmother with 23 ex-husbands has been recognised as the most married woman in the world. Linda Wolfe, 68, who first wed at 16, admits she became "addicted to the romance" of getting hitched. The best lover was Jack Gourley, who liked skinny dipping and impromptu trysts. She wed him three times.

Alrighty then... ;)

WTF link of the day - 3/4/09

Inspired perhaps by Amit Varma's WTF series, I'm starting one too... may not have a new link every day but will try to update as much as possible.

Here's today's ...via Boing-Boing

Unusual phone offered on eBay

You have to go to the link and see why it is unusual...though I should admit I am tempted to cut-n-paste that ghastly picture here!

Tweeting is the soul of wit

1. According to an aggregator of electronic parliamentary missives, 65% of Labour MPs are hooked on Twitter.

2. Speaking of labour, Ramesh Srivats had a great tweet just now: "Women who deliver in govt. hospital to get Rs.800 http://tinyurl.com/dbl74a Guess they want to be seen as a 'labour' friendly govt."

Actually, Ramesh has taken the art of tweeting to a whole different level. Check this series from couple days back, based on articles he found in Times of India.

1. Weird headline in TOI - 'Two held for trying to sell police' http://tinyurl.com/c386uy Guess the police prefer selling themselves.
   
     
   
2. Cops to return bribe with 9% interest http://tinyurl.com/af8ojg So now we can bribe as a matter of 'principal'.
   
     
   
3. BSY allots Rs.130cr to temples to ward off K'taka's past sins http://tinyurl.com/d2j8nr Are even our Gods open to bribes?
   
     
   
4. Gujarat advertises for intelligence officers at Rs.4,500/month http://tinyurl.com/bkewno Not likely to get very intelligent officers, uh?
   
     
   
5. Court reduces sentence of rape convict because he passes IAS exam http://tinyurl.com/crecut Proof that our bureaucrats lack 'conviction'

Ramesh also blogs and his blog - Let's Put Da - is full of great posts, full of wit and humor.

Btw, I tweet too -- http://twitter.com/sanjeevn

It's a mad mad mad mad world - 6

This kid could teach me a thing or two :)

Boy, 9, writes book on how to talk to girls
A nine-year-old boy has had a book published in the US - called How to Talk to Girls

Melancholy or funny?

Woman calls police after hubby, 82, takes Viagra
An 82-year-old Italian man who took a Viagra pill scared his wife so much she called the police.

Is that a gun or are you just happy to see us, Fuehrer?

Naked Hitler sparks complaints
TV bosses in Belgium have been slammed for an advert for a travel programme featuring a semi-naked Adolf Hitler.

It's the season of giving ... interesting new years gifts though!

Man's mag loses 130,000 plastic breasts
An Australian men's magazine says 130,000 inflatable breasts intended as a free gift for its January issue have gone missing.

And that reminds me of this one from some time back (but I don't think I blogged about it then):

Musical breast implants: Computer chips that store music could soon be built into a woman's breast implants. One boob could hold an MP3 player and the other the person's whole music collection.

And on that note... I'll go listen to some music. At last.fm, guys!!!

Previously: 1, 2, 3, 4, 5.

It's a mad mad mad mad world - 5

A few oddball / interesting things i found tonight:

1) Look up, dude! :) (found here.)

2) No bathroom breaks -- the US embassy's strengthening protection! .... (found here.)

3) Speaking of protection...

AIG ad: If disaster strikes, will you have the protection you need. (- via Digg)

4) And speaking of disaster... disaster for this sparrow!
Don't know why but the above series of pictures made me want to write (bad) haiku

a frog lurks

sparrow looking around

frog eat sparrow!

5) I've seen the lions vs. buffalo video before but this one is incredulous. This is what I call "The king of the jungle OWNED!"

6) Scary! Street dentists in India! (and I thought the dentist I had while growing up in Mumbai was bad!)

7) Scarier!!

8) Oddest book titles including such classics as Proceedings from the International Workshop on Nude Mice and The Madam as Entrepreneur: Career Management in House Prostitution

9) A Swiss restaurant owner by the name of Hans Lochner has created a bit of controversy by announcing that his menu will now feature local specialties such as meat stew and various soups and sauces containing at least 75% human breast milk

10) She was a he? Amazing!

Previously: 1, 2, 3, 4

Germans and Polish at war

No... its not 1938 again. I'm just being frivolous. But this is precious!!

German nudists have been told to cover up on a beach after the removal of border fences with Poland. The Polish think the sight of naked Germans on the nearby beach is offensive and that "undressing is a perversion". In turn, the nude Germans think being gawked at by clothed Polish voyeurs with binoculars is a perversion.

Hmm.. all depends on which side (of the border) you are, huh! :)

Just landed at this news snippet after feeling the urge to go read some Ananova Quirkies, something I had not done in months, after my previous oddball quirky post.

Enough frivolousness for the day. Back to worrying about the world (environmental woes) or escaping into the tunnel of literature or music. :)

Oops!

That's all there is to say after this!

It's a mad mad mad mad world - 4

A few oddball news from the week that was; gleaned from this week's Harpers weekly review :)

Big boobs in the news quite a bit. First comes news of a group called Busts 4 Justice protesting Mark & Spencer's policy of charging extra on some of its bras that are bigger than a size DD.

The British retailer Marks & Spencer defended a policy of charging extra for bras that are bigger than size DD, saying the charge represented “a small premium for [necessary] specialist work,” while the protest group Busts 4 Justice derided the price increase as an unfair tax.

And then there was the curious case of the woman who found a bat nestled in her ample cleavage and instead of freaking out felt sorry for the "cuddly bat!" Ignoring for the moment the curious case of cheiropterous love, what I want to know is who did she think was calling her for 5 hours and why did she not want to take the call for that long? :)

A British teenager who assumed that tremors in her bosom were caused by her vibrating mobile phone found a baby bat nestling in the padding of her 34FF bra. She was sitting at her desk at work when she decided to investigate the strange movements in her underwear. Abbie Hawkins, 19, of Norwich, had been wearing the bra for five hours when she plucked up the courage to investigate. When she did, she found a baby bat in padding in her 34FF bra. The hotel receptionist said she was shocked but felt bad for removing the "cuddly" bat. "It looked cosy and comfortable and I was sorry for disturbing it," she said.

Moving from big boobs to big men; I think it's the prayers that worked, don't you? :)

An Indonesian woman who used herbs, Islamic prayer, and supernatural powers to enlarge penises died last week. She was over 100 years old.

WTF.... Jess Jackson wants to do what? Why! What would he do with them! And as if having the first-ever black President won't be enough, maybe he wants a first-ever eunuch President? (Yes.. a castrated man started a great empire once upon a time... but this is no way to hope to stem the decline of the American empire, Jesse!)

The Reverend Jesse Jackson apologized for saying of Obama that that he wanted to “cut his nuts out.”

And then there is the curious case of the New Hampshire woman who was ...

... struck by lightning which entered through her legs and exited through her nose ring.

Ahem. We do live in interesting times! :)

Previously: 1, 2, 3

Monkey Business

About a year after the report last year that, in its infinite wisdom and because it did not have anything else to pass judgement about,...

India's Supreme Court ordered 300 monkeys captured from the streets of Delhi to be transferred to forests in the central state of Madhya Pradesh.*

..the unruly monkeys of Delhi have struck again! This time they have been accused of killing a deputy mayor, who died of head injuries in hospital yesterday after falling from the first-floor terrace of his home.

* An earlier report was that the nuisance monkeys were to be exported. They probably figured the trade deficit would be too much and decided to send them to MP instead? An even earlier report from 2001 takes the cake though -- Monkeys invade Delhi government. Now we know why the Indian government system is as it is..

Tell you...it may be a dog's world... but monkeys have the most fun! Oh to be descendents of these wile creatures! :)

More monkeys in the news at this blog that tracks our simian brothers :)

And this from my old email files..

haha... maybe this is the solution for monkey problem in Delhi ;)

there is a short story somewhere in here... monkeys take over as Black Commandos guarding politicians in Delhi etc etc.. ;)

Mesa police want to add monkey to SWAT team

God responds

... (s)he exists! :)

'God' strikes back at lawsuit, claims immunity

• Senator who sued God gets response; "God" says Nebraska lacks jurisdiction
  
• St. Michael the Archangel is listed as a witness on court filing
  
• Sen. Chambers sued God for causing "widespread death, destruction"
  
• Response: suit doesn't consider free will; defendant immune from some laws

By the way, this is mainstream news on cnn.com, not a satirical article from the Onion!

Playing God

Papa salmon plus mama salmon equals ... baby trout? Japanese researchers put a new spin on surrogate parenting as they engineered one fish species to produce another, in a quest to preserve endangered fish.

*shudder*.... what can I say!

A squirrely affair

Sounds like a B-grade horror flick - The Attack of the Squirrels!

Yet again*, a squirrel is on the attack, this time biting a tot and a trooper in Orlando.

* Previously: David & Goliath

It's a mad mad mad mad world - 3

Scott Adams has a post regarding the freaking Chinese governments intention* to "ban the reincarnation of Buddhist monks without government permission” ... (both above links were found at India Uncut.)

Also, this cartoon about the same.

Reading the comments section of Scott's post, I read about the curious case of an allegedly horny camel!

An Australian woman was killed by a pet camel given to her as a 60th birthday present, police (in Brisbane, Australia) said Sunday. The 10-month-old male -- weighing about 330 pounds -- had knocked her to the ground then lay on top of her in what police suspect was mating behavior, Gregory said.

* What can I say.... they probably will get on the job right after they finish "cleansing" the internet!

Previously: 1, 2